Sunday 12 October 2014

Halloween Murders
By Grace O’Reilly

The stench was repulsive.  The house was eerily quiet, but far from empty.  Rats and insects, feasted on the rotting bodies of two grotesquely mutilated adults.
Detective Steven Walsh was overcome with queasiness, and hurled into a pot plant on the bookcase in the living room.  Ironic that the victims, stone dead were found in the “living room” of all the rooms in the house.   “I think these bodies have been here awhile Stevo.  Just as well you skipped the breakfast roll today”, Joe Moore playfully mocked and patted Steven on the back.  Steven took a tissue from his trouser pocket and wiped the vomit away from his mouth, still coughing as he did so.  His face was ashen grey, almost the same colour as the deceased. 
The house was jam packed with people everywhere.  Forensic scientists in their white hooded one-piece suits, looked around for any traces of evidence that would give even a shadow of an explanation of what happened to the two dead people.  They had gloves on their hands and were checking the floors, ceilings, walls and every nook and cranny they could possibly think of checking.
Police guarded the front door of the house and the front gate to warden off the public from being nosey and about the place.  The garden was sealed off with yellow and black tape telling people this was a crime scene and do not dare to enter.
Outside there were three news vans, a reporter and a cameraman, pushing and shoving and trying to ask questions and were politely told to bugger off and come back later.  The photographer just carried on clicking and flashing this and that until he was told “another snap and I’ll snap your camera in two.  Now off you go Mr Clickity Flash”.  The television crew in the vans were from BBC, Sky News and ITV and were having none of it.  “What do you think happened inside?, said a woman dressed in a dark suit.  They could not take no for an answer so security intervened and told them enough was enough and that a statement would be made later.
The date was November 11th 1999.  The place had been decorated with Halloween decorations.  Skeletons, witches and ghostly figures and cobwebs were everywhere.  At the front door there was a pumpkin, carved with an especially eerie looking face and a now burnt out candle in the Jack O Lantern.  There was a sign on the door saying “TRICK OR TREAT, ENTER AND PREPARE NEVER TO EXIT”.  Joe turned to Steven and said “I bet they never would have entered had they known the dign was serious”.
“Any leads?” Joe asked, handing Steven a bottle of water back in the car.  Steven said he reckoned that there was much more to the sign on the front door than met the eye.  Joe turned to Steven and said “I bet they never would have entered had they known the sign was serious”.

The telephone rang at the police station at 3.15pm.  It was a man called Nigel Wallace and he said it was him who had killed the two girls.  He said “the voices in my head told me to do it”. 
Nigel had met Kelsey and Ailbhe in a bar in the town.  It was one of three public houses in the small town of Ambersville, in Enland as it was a very rural town.  Kelsey and Ailbhe were 22 year old students and dressed provocatively and teasing Nigel.  They had gotten on really well at first, chatting about this and about that and then things got really nasty after a few drinks.  Kelsey asked Nigel “I bet you have never had a serious girlfriend before.  I mean, em look at you”.  She had gone on to slag off Nigel and the fact that he was a 35 year old loner with no friends or family that didn’t talk to him had really wound him up.  Ailbhe had tried to calm them both down but they were really laying into each other and things were getting really heated until the barman chucked the three of them out of the bar and told them they were “barred and not to come back.”  Nigel then sheepishly apologised and invited the girls to his house for a Halloween party.....
They had walked the short distance to his house in the countryside.  He had the house decorated for Halloween, with ghouls and all sorts as if had anticipated that he would indeed have company back.  “They didn’t mean it”, he had told himself.  “They could be your friends”.  However the voices in his head had then turned sinister and said “They must die, the evil bitches”.  Ha, how appropriate as it is Halloween, the night where evil lurks in every direction.  “Evil bitches, dressed as slutty witches.  Kelsey deserves what she get the whore, and well poor Ailbhe, she’d only go and blab to someone so go she must” the voice informed Nigel.

He offered them a drink.  While in the kitchen alone, he took some of his aunts medication which he had kept for no good reason, until now.  He made them vodka oranges and spiked their drinks while he did so.  He figured that he would drug them first and then see what the night brought about.

Nigel returned to the living room and gave the girls their drinks but he made sure that he had a pain orange.  He took Ailbhe aside while Kelsey was in the loo.  He whispered in her ear “So sorry for this” and before she could say anything or in fact knew what was going on, he suffocated her by the pillow she had lay against on the sofa.  When each limb went limp he knew that she was dead.

Kelsey returned from the loo and mocked “Ah Ailbhe, she is never one to stay awake on a mad night out”.  She looked like she was asleep in the chair the way her body was slumped.
Nigel then put a track on and said “Dance with me”.  He took Kelsey in his arms and leant in to kiss her and then he stabbed her in the back with the Stanley knife he had taken from his tool box while making the drinks earlier and had secretly hidden in his back jeans pocket.  Kelsey’s eyes watered and she yelped and crumpled to the floor.  He then slit her throat ear to ear while she struggled to breathe, and when she had rattled her last he started to saw at her neck to decapitate it but got bored half way through the process.

He went to town tidying and cleaning up any evidence that he could think of and then signed himself into the local mental hospital.  That was where Nigel Wallace had telephoned the Police to inform them of his crimes. 
The girls had been found when a postman had smelled something peculiar and foul coming through the letterbox. The postman Mr Johnson had presumed that Nigel had died and was inside alone for days.  There was no mistaking the smell of decay and rotting flesh.  He could even hear the buzz of insects as they gorged on the young female human remains.  The postman had been right about the smell but horribly wrong about the circumstances.  He had called the Police on his mobile opening up the murder case of the two girls.

Ailbhe and Kelsey’s parents were distraught.  Weeks later their parents were finally able to bury their bodies (what was left) and lay the girls to rest.  Nigel Wallace was found guilty of murder for the 2 girls but also said not to be of sound mind so avoided jail.  However he is in a mental institution to this day where he will remain until he dies so in a sense is imprisoned.

Joe and Steven marked the case “CLOSED”.  Joe said to Steven “If there is any justice at all that Nigel Wallace will rot in Hell literally, when the sick bastard dies”.  They got up from their desk and headed out the door for lunch, ready for whatever the next case may be.


THE END

Monday 8 September 2014

Bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By Grace O’Reilly

The last week or so has just been up and down mentally and physically.  I have an upcoming abdominal scan approaching and nerves are getting to me.  Is it a bird, is it a plane, no it’s the next friggin’ E.R drama to happen in my ever falling apart body.  I am 30, not 90 years of age, so God what will I be like when I am 90, if I indeed reach that nice, old age.
Ben started in playschool last Monday.  He is 14months nearly and very clingy (compared to his older sister Olivia who is 3 and a half).  He was breastfed, she was not.  He does NOT sleep, she did.  I could be wrong but for me Breast was NOT best, as I say for me.  Ben has been a never-ending Duracell bunny for the last 14 months with no intention of stopping or slowing down.  He rarely naps and goes down with a fight every night and finally after round 100 DING, DING, DING, falls asleep for a mere 2 hour period if we are lucky enough before being back to square bloody one.  I feel so bad for him but also for me and Daddy.  We are the walking dead, zombies out of minds.  “COFFEE”, one of us usually yells to a grumpy other at some kind of ridiculous o’clock as the one making orders kicks the other out of bed.  We do love you Benjamin, just we used to love sleep too.  Ben has his monkey school bag with his loom band key ring with BEN on it that his great aunt Avril made him.  He has gone from wailing like a banshee for 20 solid minutes to crying for a 2minute period before seeing new toys and another baby to play with. He was in for 30mins every day last week and 45 mins today and hour tomorrow, hour 30mins Wed, 2 hours Friday.  Thursday he isn’t in.  So next week he will be in from then on for just Wednesday and Friday afternoons.
Olivia has started the ECCE Scheme and is now in playschool for 5 afternoons a week as opposed to the 2 she was in before that.  She is so good.  Her teachers do nothing but sing her praises each day.  She has her Peppa Pig school bag and her Olivia princess lunch box Leonie made her.  Ben has his monkey bag with his loom band key ring with BEN on it that his great aunt Avril made him.  He has gone from wailing like a banshee for 20 solid minutes to crying for a 2minute period before seeing new toys and another baby to play with. He was in for 30mins every day last week and 45 mins today and hour tomorrow, hour 30mins Wed, 2 hours Friday.  Thursday he isn’t in.  So next week he will be in from then on for just Wednesday and Friday afternoons.  I feel rally mean but I know it is for his best interest and that he will benefit greatly.  Olivia loves playschool too.
Last week I started to make lots of carrot and raisin cakes and banana loaves.  They turned out really well.  The kids and Simon go mad for the banana loaf.  I was just dying for my friend Sinead’s carrolt cake and since she lives in Manchester I bravely had to try and make my own which is nice but just not quite as nice as Neds.  So I went mad baking for our friends BBQ last week and for Si’s Nanny Josie and my own Gran and Mum.  I turned into a Betty Crocker wannabe overnight.  I also was making the scones with the scone mix too and proudly did a roast last week for my Granny, parents and Si and the kids and nobody died.
The week before last Ben had his 13month injections and was very cross with me that I let that mean old nurse (who is actually very nice) hurt him.
I was up a lb and a half last week in Unislim and so I really now need to keep focused.  Wonder if the scales will give me a nice MINUS or ugly PLUS tomorrow.  I need to take Anne’s advice on board and declutter my kitchen cupboards.
I spent all weekend in bed as my stomach and back have been killing me.  Yes it was my time but I t mean it was PAIN so I am hoping that it’s not to do with this upcoming scan.  Every day last week I had a headache and still do and just don’t feel rested so have started to take iron supplements.  My tummy is just so tender I can’t keep anything down and have just hurled for the umpteenth time in the last 3 days alone just there so I better be down tomorrow LOL.
Friends really are great when you feel blue.  Leonie gave me a nice girl chat this morning and then Leah this evening.  Really perked me up.  My friend Katie was mailing yesterday to see I was ok and my friend Nick too texted.  My sister send me a nice letter and card last week and my Aunt Avril made me 2 lovely loom band bracelets.  My parents brought me out some rhubarb yesterday which I’ll stew tomorrow if my tummy bit better.
I can’t believe that it’s September again.  Back into NEW stuff.  Si went back to work his usually hours after having reduced hours over the Summer so hopefully the bank account as well as out routine go back to normal.  As I said the kids started on the ECCE Scheme and in playschool this week.  My friends Leah and Patrick’s little one Katie started school the week before last.  One of my friends Jamie Ryan started his psychology course today well done.  Leah is started Childcare Level 6 in 2 weeks and Jamie Richardson Social and Community Studies in 2 weeks time also.  So proud of everyone.
My sister Karen is back to work after having hip surgery so am delighted she is back on her ...em 2 feet lol (well she was on crutches).  She made the work gang muffins today.  My other sister Susan and my brother in law are off on holiers soon.  JEALOUS.
My sister in law Willow started in a new school last week and my 2 brothers in law started secondary school last week too.  Willow’s first day didn’t go well as Cruella de Ville her teacher SHOUTED at her in front  of her new class because she was never taught joint writing.  Feckin’ nerve.  If I was the teacher I would have said “no worries, we’ll be up to speed soon”.  Luke loves the computer club he joined for the lunch times and David is already wooing the girls having broken up with his first girlfriend after the first week.  Ah puppy love!!!
I have been having weird dreams lately of my teeth falling out and of my own death in different ways.  Very weird.   On the death subject my friend Yvonne’s mum’s passing has already been over a month.  Time flies.  Alfie and Russell (relatives on my husband’s side) 1st anniversary is now.  That year flew too.
Simon (my toyboy hubby) is 28 on Friday.  He is 2 years plus my junior.  Now we are in different decade brackets I feel older again.  On the plus he makes me tea all the time as I say “Respect your elders”.  We are hoping to go for a small, cheap meal with some friends on Saturday and then back to ours for games.
Just off the phone to Nick.  Looking forward to seeing him, Roisin, Leah, Patrick and hopfully Jamie, Leonie and baby James on Saturday.  Ok chamomile tea calls, as does hot water bottle and nerofen plus.  Please nobody ring.  Please Olivia and Ben keep sleeping soundly.  Mummy is hopping into her leaba.  Night all.


THE END xxx

Thursday 21 August 2014

Untitled 21/08/2014
By Grace O’Reilly

Feeling fed up and tearful as I write.  Just ate a  Rocky caramel bar and 3 tea spoons of Aldi type Nutella.  Ben hasn’t been well for the last week.  Only gone a year a month ago he has been sick a week now,  diarrhoea, vomiting and sore throat.  Initially we thought it was a tummy bug as everyone has had it.  Then yesterday when the runs were still “ascuttering” we cancelled his appointment for his 13months injections and booked him an appointment with the GP instead.  She said that Ben had just a sore throat and that was it.
Then today he was cranky on and off.  He was in playschool in the Baby room for a trial 20 minutes and wailed for his Mama.  I was at reception anyhoo filling in paperwork he size of Mount Everest for Ben and his big sister Olivia when the phone rang saying little Benjamin demanded Mummy NOW!!!!!!  The poor pet.  Nothing a chocy doughnut from Tesco couldn’t solve.  We met Daddy at the bus stop and gave him a radiant smile when we handed him a double choc muffin for the bus ride to work.  We then said Bye Bye as Daddy’s bus came in sight and went off to continue our errands around Gorey town.
We got Nanny some flowers and had a cuppa with her and Grandad Alan.  Then we went on to collect Olivia from playschool and go to Aldi before coming home.
The Gorey Community School’s Debs was tonight and all the students were dolled up to the nines in glamorous celeb-like dresses and the guys in suits.  Olivia initially thought that it was people getting married and then said “Oh wow Mummy, look at all the princesses in their pretty dresses”.  She saw a girl in a yellow dress and was like “Excuse me, are you Belle or Cinderella?”.  She saw a white stretched limo and thought that it should be a horse drawn carriage and was so upset that she couldn’t go to the ball and to disco dance.
Ben had only eaten half a sausage and I gave up with his shrieks as his poor appetite has been over the place at the moment.  When he took his antibiotic projectile vomit landed everywhere drenching him the table, chair and floor.  Poor Olivia was shocked that someone so small could produce volumes so big, gross and explosive (never mind the other end)!!
Into the bathtub he went and Olivia devoured the end of her ice cream cone I made her before splashing into the bath with her baby brother (not afraid that he may explode again at any time).  No she just washed him with her Daddy Pig soap (from Peppa Pig) that her Aunt Susan.  It was very cute as the two of them splashed and played and laughed in teh water.  I then took Benzo out and dired and changed him and then Olivia.  They had some Heinz baby buiscuits and watched Fireman Sam on Netflix while poor Moi cleaned up the aftermath of Sir Benzlot’s explosion in the kitchen.
The two monkies now in bed I made myself a microwave Aldi lasagne (not Unislim friendly L ) and ate it and chatted to Simon at work.  He’s having a rough night on the job.  I made him dinner before work and for work and sambos and made the kids meals and even put a love note in Si’s lunch but I make meself a measly microwave meal.  NEED to look after moi more!!!!
My friend gave me a ring there and cheered me up it was just as I started to type this actually.  My frame of mind has changed and I am now happier.  He told me he is in love and I love him so much and have wanted this for him for ages that I am bursting with happiness.  So thanks for making me happy and smile.  Won’t say names.  Don’t want to embarrass the lovebirds. :D
My sister Karen rang me for a chat there and made me laugh.  The things she comes out with.  She is I swear the female version of Peter Pan.  I have never known an adult more childlike than her (other than me lol).  She got excited trying a new ice cream variety today in Bray’s gelateria, nutella.  Yum!!!  Ah thanks Karen!!!  She is very good, she sent me a nice letter and card in the post and I got it today.  Meant a lot.
My aunt Avril made me a lovely bracelet so can’t wait to wear that.  She is mad into the looming at the moment wit the loom bands.  Very talented is Avril.  That cheered me up too when I looked at the pictures she sent me of them on my mobile which she gave me.  Thank God for the cello taped wreckage I was using before had definitely seen better days.

 Ben and Olivia are sleeping soundly and when I finish this I will have a quick shower and get into bed with a camomile tea and read some of Louise Phillips last novel “The Doll’s House”.
Writing really is therapeutic and so is chatting.  I hope Ben feels better tomorrow.

GOODNIGHT!!!!

Friday 8 August 2014

The Raindrops
By Grace O’Reilly

The raindrops splash against my bedroom window
The trees outside are dancing to Billy Wind’s directions
Swaying and bending this way and that way
My bedroom window pane is full of raindrops
Although like a picture it’s more like rain dots
Between the dots is where I can see the outside World
With Billy Wind’s dancing trees
And more rainfall pouring down like a heavy fast waterfall
Summer’s is now over although still August it feels more Wintery than Autumnal
The green and brown leaves practice their swing dance for the Autumn finale

Before a wintery land looms

Tuesday 5 August 2014

Wells House, Co Wexford
By Grace O’Reilly

Today my parents and sister Karen came and collected myself and Olivia my 3 year old daughter.  She was dressed up in her nautical striped dress and pink love hear wellie boots ready for her adventure to Wells House and Gardens to see the fairies as promised by my mum “Granny”.
Living in Gorey Co Wexford it only took my Dad a 15 minute drive to the magical fairy land hidden in the amazing Wells House and Gardens.  It is a great huge Victorian house and garden and has something for all ages.  There are tea rooms, different walks, playground, farm area, picnic areas, shopping courtyard with craft shops, and so much more.  They provide guided tours (including IN the house), archery, school tours and facilitate for people with special needs and requirements.

All the information you will need about Wells House and Gardens is on it’s website: www.wellshouse.ie .
So our day was when we arrived at the car park and a very excited Olivia dressed with her pink tiara, green fairy wings and purple beaded wand topped with a star bounced out of her Grandparent’s car.  We walked passed the Victorian house Wells house and admired its ancient beauty.  The house has been there for more than 350 years and has seen historical events such as the Great Famine and more.  It’s famous architect was Daniel Robertson.

We then went on to do one of many wonderful walks I have heard about.  The walk we did was called “The Lady Frances Woodland Walk”.  Lady Frances lived at Wells House from 1870 with her husband.  This is an Elizabethan forest walk starting from Wells House and meandering for 1.2km into the forest.  It took about 45 minutes to an hour walking at a leisurely pace and taking in the sights and smells.  Different coloured fairy doors were on numerous ancient trees making this place even more magical and giving the inner child in the 3 year old me a sense of enchantment and awe.  I felt like I was in a Disney movie in Tinkerbell’s Land or in the recent film in the cinema’s starring Angelina Jolie “Maleficent” but with all the GOOD.  There was a wishing well where Olivia closed her eyes, made a wished a tossed in some coppers.  We went on to see wooden small bridges where we pretended the grumpy old troll form “Dora the Explorer” was living. There was the snake, fox  and owl and of course “The Gruffalo” from the well known  and loved children’s book and story by Julia Donaldson and Axel Sheffler.  The Grufflao was amazing despite the fact that it’s mouth was alive with a wasps nest so we couldn’t get too close.  That was with the hot Summer us Irish folk have been lucky to have this 2014.  There was a colourful big, fairy castle too with a swing, picnic tables and chairs on the walk also and pretend wood made telescopes for the children.  The sculptures’ were brilliant.  There was a fairy tree and a wooden car too.

We then took Olivia to the playground where she played on the swings, slides, climbing frames and wooden train.
Then my parents treated us to a lovely lunch, I had a very tasty chicken Caesar salad and my sister treated me to a  rocky road, delicious.    “Mrs Stone’s Tearooms” was the name of the cafe.  Prices were fair and portions generous.
We proceeded our adventure in Wells House and Gardens to the craft shop area known as “The Craft Courtyard”.  It used to be the stables in Wells House and was converted into a little shopping area.  It has 6 shops and an art gallery.  They are reasonably prices and ideal for little gifts either for a loved one or to yourself.  Light worker candles, The Gardener’s Cottage, Irish Faerydoors, The Timeless Toy Shop, Tate, Guerin Designs, Willow Cottage and TATE GUERIN ART GALLERY.  I treated myself and Mum to a lavender bag for under our pillows, so relaxing and Mum treated Olivia and my other child Ben (who must come again as 1 her would adore the place) to a pink Fairy door and a blue Elf door.
Before returning to the playground before finishing our trip we went to the farm area where we saw donkeys, pony, ducks, peacocks, pigs, rabbits, reptiles, sheep, goats and birds.  This area was called “The Irish Wildlife Sanctuary”.  There is a timetable we didn’t look at it though for different activities during the Summer. There was a huge pond with pads and gold fish.  It really is a marvellous place and somewhere I will definitely be returning to again and again for many years to come.
Note on their site they do birthday parties if you are looking for something different for your little one’s special day.


THE END 

Wednesday 30 July 2014

July 30th 2014
By Grace O’Reilly

Well today has just been one of those days.  Katie, one of my dearest friends rang me to bear me with the bad news that  one of our other friends and longest I may add, her Mum  passed away last night after a long battle with the dreaded C word, cancer.  My love goes out to Yvo, Dave and Paul at the loss of their Mum.  Muriel will be missed.  I have known her since I was 4 years old and to this day Yvo swears (although I can’t remember) that I ran out of the bath tub but naked and told her and Mur that I was going to be a stripper when I grew up and that was when I was about 5.  Needless to say I didn’t become a stripper of any kind, not even the wall-paper stripper.
I was minding my friend’s son for a few hours and between him, Olivia and Ben was ran ragged.  He drank milk for me and his Mum was even shocked for he never drinks milk but when little Sean realised that Spiderman LOVES milk well he went bananas for it.  Those bone, those bones do need calcium.  Sara watched Livi for a bit and instead of relaxing Ben has had a temperature all day.  So the good old Nurofen (strawberry flavour) and Calpol are doing their job FINALLY as he is JUST asleep.

Olivia got out of Bed earlier and fell and hit her eye off her princess bed.  She looks more like Bruised Ella than Cinderella the poor pet.  It looks like Mike Tyson or Katie Taylor popped in for a visit.  She will certainly be POPEYE come the morning.  My mother in law came up to assure me that Olivia was ok.

It’s 9.30PM and I have just eaten.  God whoever knew that us Mums need to eat (in the minds of a 3 and 1 year old I am simply invincible).  Goodness knows they didn’t know how close I was to eating them.  Having just devoured a microwave meal (not my usual I swear, although admittedly whilst at age 30 I am not a Jamie Oliver but can now according to my hubby Simon do a really good scrambled egg) and much needed glass of vino, I retired to my new office to write this piece because my new goal is to write SOMEthing everyday. 
Thanks Aunt Avril for a chat and your usual words of wisdom I need to hear on a regular basis.  Avril is not only my Aunt in law but a true  friend helping me through so much of late.
My bath is just about ran so face mask and bubbles her I come.

 Goodnight !!!! zzzz xxx

Tuesday 29 July 2014

Weigh to go
Grace O’Reilly

I have always had issues and insecurities about my weight.  Maybe that’s just me being a typical woman living in a modern World or maybe that’s just me!  All I know is that I have never been happy with the way that I look.  I was bullied in school and I was called fat and had “Grace Downes is a fat cow” written in graffiti on a wall in a housing estate near to where I lived by a “supposed” best friend, NOT!  I have had 2 women very close to me in my life on complete opposite side of the weight scale.  One was obese and has a pair of her old trousers in the attic and can fit her whole self and one in ONE of the legs now.  The other woman was severely anorexic and at her lightest weighed just over 6 stone and that as an adult mother of 2 young boys.  Neither is better than the other to be too thin or overweight is just not healthy.  A lot of the time weight issues stem from physiological and not physical problems.

Last year I was at one of my heaviest EVER (I think 2 years prior to that again I was heavier but don’t actually know the number) at 13 stone 3 lbs.  I am now 9 months on 10 stone 7 lbs.  I still have a way to go until I reach target weight but have lost more than I have to lose and mentally I have gained so much.  In October 2013 I rang Anne Dixon from Unislim in distress.  For my short height of 5”1 I was weighed in 3 days later at my first Unislim class at 13 stone 3 lbs.  I was so disgusted with myself.  I had rang Anne as I was literally on the last leg of being miserable with my weight.  I ripped the whole ass out of a brand new pair of trousers my mother had bought for me and was so ashamed.  I had only got them over the top of my legs when I heard the sound of material ripping and my heart broke too.
It was a blessing though because the new lease of life that Anne, Jan and all the members in Unislim as well as my friends and family have given me is unreal.  I am a changed person for the better.  I have a much more positive mental attitude now.  I am outgoing and bubbly and ENJOY getting dressed up and shopping now (although our bank account doesn't like nor really allow for that) but that being said Penny’s and charity shops are great and having lost so much weight it is a nice feeling to go into a shop and try something on. 
After I had my 2 children I dreaded shopping.  I liked (rather thought I liked) the idea of food shopping and tossing crap like chocolate in the basket to gorge on later.  The truth of it is and was it didn’t make me feel good just worse wear as with clothes shopping I don’t feel bad.

As Anne said last Christmas dressed with a Turkey hat on her head “If you gobble, gobble gobble, you will wobble, wobble, wobble but if you nibble, nibble, nibble, you can jiggle, jiggle, jiggle.  It is true when I dress up now I feel sexy and confident.  My husband Simon always told me I was beautiful and he loved and loves me but I never loved Me and that was the problem.  I can look in the mirror now and not cry.  I can get up in the morning and choose to dress to style with use of my trusty U Magazine or simply be in my pj’s because I am having a lazy day with fun and movies with out 3 and 1 year old rather than because I feel I can’t be bothered getting dressed, going outside the door because God forbid I may scare the kitty cat next door into oblivion at the sight of me. 
Now I dress up and feel good.  I am not vain by any stretch but am just becoming more satisfied and accepting of who I am.  I enjoy getting my hair done and buying new SMALLER clothes.  It  makes me feel good inside and out.  I have more energy, get up and go and drive now too, which apart from for myself and indeed my husband it is great for my two youngsters Olivia and Ben that I can play and keep up with them specially now the little man is on the move.


Yes I know that it is only July but Anne (with good reason) gave us a picture with a Christmas tree.  Every time we lose weight we colour in a bauble but are NOT allowed to touch the star until Christmas week when we can all shine together.  I was only down half a lb this week but that is in my old mind now I am like I was down half and lb GO ME.  If you have ever seen a half lb of meat or indeed fat and think that was lost in ONE week well it is good going.  I hope to be my target weight by Christmas and then not only will my Christmas tree light up but so will myself.