I wrote this one night after a nightmare about bullying
years ago.
It’s not quite a poem, not quite a prose. It’s just my brain on paper or now rather in
print.
Started back to writing my bullying novel tonight after
weeks of another “break” from it. Even
after Bacardi breezer orange the pain writing it is still there. It is raw, but I guess that is for me what
helps me write.It’s raw like the carrots in my kitchen but at least my words
are therapeutic unlike the carrots even if they are tasty. Okay drifting away from subject compleastly
as I do as it hurts but has to be done.
Below is typed exactly as written
Do people really think twice about the damage they do to
others when they bully them “physically”?
Is it a power thing to make them feel more powerful and
their prey feel less powerful?
Heart wrenching, stomach churning feelings are all the
victim has
That and humiliation, confusion and exclusion.
From the boy in 1st babies kicking me in the yard
and scraping my glasses, to the teacher telling Mum that “I was stupid”, to the
bitchy bullies in school seding cards and invites and holiday gifts to
practically everybody in the class but me.
WHY???
Then I met a “friend”, popularity set in to our gang but no
to me as such – I was just a nobody, an extra in their group.
I got set upon by my “own”.
Nasty notes and pictures sent around, garffitti on walls
that I’m a fat cow.
I picked myself up again and made more “friends”
Slowly things happened again
Too much to explain.
A change of school
Exclusion again set in
Then I met my love rat
5 years together and he cheats and befriends my greatest EX-“friend”
bully, as she screws his friend’s brother.
This writing piece is like my brain, all over the place
People, years, events, scattered memories, slightly faded
like sun-bleached objects
But definitely still there like a heart sore
Years later, settled, married and a mother
I awake so I write this
Do people even realise the damage and extent of what they
have done?
People are like objects in the sense that if something breaks
it can be repaired
Take shoes....
The sole can be replaced and repaired time over time but as
the damage of time keeps weakening the sole it will eventually just LOOK good
and FEEL useless on the inside
Like a person’s heart and sole can only take so much.
Just think in the future – how would you feel if roles or
soles were reversed or if the shoes were swapped and the bullies shoes put on
other feet!
By Grace O’Reilly
13/01/14
