Untitled 21/08/2014

By Grace O’Reilly

Feeling fed up and tearful as I write.  Just ate a  Rocky caramel bar and 3 tea spoons of Aldi type Nutella.  Ben hasn’t been well for the last week.  Only gone a year a month ago he has been sick a week now,  diarrhoea, vomiting and sore throat.  Initially we thought it was a tummy bug as everyone has had it.  Then yesterday when the runs were still “ascuttering” we cancelled his appointment for his 13months injections and booked him an appointment with the GP instead.  She said that Ben had just a sore throat and that was it.

Then today he was cranky on and off.  He was in playschool in the Baby room for a trial 20 minutes and wailed for his Mama.  I was at reception anyhoo filling in paperwork he size of Mount Everest for Ben and his big sister Olivia when the phone rang saying little Benjamin demanded Mummy NOW!!!!!!  The poor pet.  Nothing a chocy doughnut from Tesco couldn’t solve.  We met Daddy at the bus stop and gave him a radiant smile when we handed him a double choc muffin for the bus ride to work.  We then said Bye Bye as Daddy’s bus came in sight and went off to continue our errands around Gorey town.

We got Nanny some flowers and had a cuppa with her and Grandad Alan.  Then we went on to collect Olivia from playschool and go to Aldi before coming home.

The Gorey Community School’s Debs was tonight and all the students were dolled up to the nines in glamorous celeb-like dresses and the guys in suits.  Olivia initially thought that it was people getting married and then said “Oh wow Mummy, look at all the princesses in their pretty dresses”.  She saw a girl in a yellow dress and was like “Excuse me, are you Belle or Cinderella?”.  She saw a white stretched limo and thought that it should be a horse drawn carriage and was so upset that she couldn’t go to the ball and to disco dance.

Ben had only eaten half a sausage and I gave up with his shrieks as his poor appetite has been over the place at the moment.  When he took his antibiotic projectile vomit landed everywhere drenching him the table, chair and floor.  Poor Olivia was shocked that someone so small could produce volumes so big, gross and explosive (never mind the other end)!!

Into the bathtub he went and Olivia devoured the end of her ice cream cone I made her before splashing into the bath with her baby brother (not afraid that he may explode again at any time).  No she just washed him with her Daddy Pig soap (from Peppa Pig) that her Aunt Susan.  It was very cute as the two of them splashed and played and laughed in teh water.  I then took Benzo out and dired and changed him and then Olivia.  They had some Heinz baby buiscuits and watched Fireman Sam on Netflix while poor Moi cleaned up the aftermath of Sir Benzlot’s explosion in the kitchen.

The two monkies now in bed I made myself a microwave Aldi lasagne (not Unislim friendly L ) and ate it and chatted to Simon at work.  He’s having a rough night on the job.  I made him dinner before work and for work and sambos and made the kids meals and even put a love note in Si’s lunch but I make meself a measly microwave meal.  NEED to look after moi more!!!!

My friend gave me a ring there and cheered me up it was just as I started to type this actually.  My frame of mind has changed and I am now happier.  He told me he is in love and I love him so much and have wanted this for him for ages that I am bursting with happiness.  So thanks for making me happy and smile.  Won’t say names.  Don’t want to embarrass the lovebirds. :D

My sister Karen rang me for a chat there and made me laugh.  The things she comes out with.  She is I swear the female version of Peter Pan.  I have never known an adult more childlike than her (other than me lol).  She got excited trying a new ice cream variety today in Bray’s gelateria, nutella.  Yum!!!  Ah thanks Karen!!!  She is very good, she sent me a nice letter and card in the post and I got it today.  Meant a lot.

My aunt Avril made me a lovely bracelet so can’t wait to wear that.  She is mad into the looming at the moment wit the loom bands.  Very talented is Avril.  That cheered me up too when I looked at the pictures she sent me of them on my mobile which she gave me.  Thank God for the cello taped wreckage I was using before had definitely seen better days.

 Ben and Olivia are sleeping soundly and when I finish this I will have a quick shower and get into bed with a camomile tea and read some of Louise Phillips last novel “The Doll’s House”.

Writing really is therapeutic and so is chatting.  I hope Ben feels better tomorrow.

GOODNIGHT!!!!

The Raindrops

By Grace O’Reilly

The raindrops splash against my bedroom window

The trees outside are dancing to Billy Wind’s directions

Swaying and bending this way and that way

My bedroom window pane is full of raindrops

Although like a picture it’s more like rain dots

Between the dots is where I can see the outside World

With Billy Wind’s dancing trees

And more rainfall pouring down like a heavy fast waterfall

Summer’s is now over although still August it feels more Wintery than Autumnal

The green and brown leaves practice their swing dance for the Autumn finale

Before a wintery land looms

Wells House, Co Wexford

By Grace O’Reilly

Today my parents and sister Karen came and collected myself and Olivia my 3 year old daughter.  She was dressed up in her nautical striped dress and pink love hear wellie boots ready for her adventure to Wells House and Gardens to see the fairies as promised by my mum “Granny”.

Living in Gorey Co Wexford it only took my Dad a 15 minute drive to the magical fairy land hidden in the amazing Wells House and Gardens.  It is a great huge Victorian house and garden and has something for all ages.  There are tea rooms, different walks, playground, farm area, picnic areas, shopping courtyard with craft shops, and so much more.  They provide guided tours (including IN the house), archery, school tours and facilitate for people with special needs and requirements.

All the information you will need about Wells House and Gardens is on it’s website: www.wellshouse.ie .

So our day was when we arrived at the car park and a very excited Olivia dressed with her pink tiara, green fairy wings and purple beaded wand topped with a star bounced out of her Grandparent’s car.  We walked passed the Victorian house Wells house and admired its ancient beauty.  The house has been there for more than 350 years and has seen historical events such as the Great Famine and more.  It’s famous architect was Daniel Robertson.

We then went on to do one of many wonderful walks I have heard about.  The walk we did was called “The Lady Frances Woodland Walk”.  Lady Frances lived at Wells House from 1870 with her husband.  This is an Elizabethan forest walk starting from Wells House and meandering for 1.2km into the forest.  It took about 45 minutes to an hour walking at a leisurely pace and taking in the sights and smells.  Different coloured fairy doors were on numerous ancient trees making this place even more magical and giving the inner child in the 3 year old me a sense of enchantment and awe.  I felt like I was in a Disney movie in Tinkerbell’s Land or in the recent film in the cinema’s starring Angelina Jolie “Maleficent” but with all the GOOD.  There was a wishing well where Olivia closed her eyes, made a wished a tossed in some coppers.  We went on to see wooden small bridges where we pretended the grumpy old troll form “Dora the Explorer” was living. There was the snake, fox  and owl and of course “The Gruffalo” from the well known  and loved children’s book and story by Julia Donaldson and Axel Sheffler.  The Grufflao was amazing despite the fact that it’s mouth was alive with a wasps nest so we couldn’t get too close.  That was with the hot Summer us Irish folk have been lucky to have this 2014.  There was a colourful big, fairy castle too with a swing, picnic tables and chairs on the walk also and pretend wood made telescopes for the children.  The sculptures’ were brilliant.  There was a fairy tree and a wooden car too.

We then took Olivia to the playground where she played on the swings, slides, climbing frames and wooden train.

Then my parents treated us to a lovely lunch, I had a very tasty chicken Caesar salad and my sister treated me to a  rocky road, delicious.    “Mrs Stone’s Tearooms” was the name of the cafe.  Prices were fair and portions generous.

We proceeded our adventure in Wells House and Gardens to the craft shop area known as “The Craft Courtyard”.  It used to be the stables in Wells House and was converted into a little shopping area.  It has 6 shops and an art gallery.  They are reasonably prices and ideal for little gifts either for a loved one or to yourself.  Light worker candles, The Gardener’s Cottage, Irish Faerydoors, The Timeless Toy Shop, Tate, Guerin Designs, Willow Cottage and TATE GUERIN ART GALLERY.  I treated myself and Mum to a lavender bag for under our pillows, so relaxing and Mum treated Olivia and my other child Ben (who must come again as 1 her would adore the place) to a pink Fairy door and a blue Elf door.

Before returning to the playground before finishing our trip we went to the farm area where we saw donkeys, pony, ducks, peacocks, pigs, rabbits, reptiles, sheep, goats and birds.  This area was called “The Irish Wildlife Sanctuary”.  There is a timetable we didn’t look at it though for different activities during the Summer. There was a huge pond with pads and gold fish.  It really is a marvellous place and somewhere I will definitely be returning to again and again for many years to come.

Note on their site they do birthday parties if you are looking for something different for your little one’s special day.

THE END 

July 30^th 2014

By Grace O’Reilly

Well today has just been one of those days.  Katie, one of my dearest friends rang me to bear me with the bad news that  one of our other friends and longest I may add, her Mum  passed away last night after a long battle with the dreaded C word, cancer.  My love goes out to Yvo, Dave and Paul at the loss of their Mum.  Muriel will be missed.  I have known her since I was 4 years old and to this day Yvo swears (although I can’t remember) that I ran out of the bath tub but naked and told her and Mur that I was going to be a stripper when I grew up and that was when I was about 5.  Needless to say I didn’t become a stripper of any kind, not even the wall-paper stripper.

I was minding my friend’s son for a few hours and between him, Olivia and Ben was ran ragged.  He drank milk for me and his Mum was even shocked for he never drinks milk but when little Sean realised that Spiderman LOVES milk well he went bananas for it.  Those bone, those bones do need calcium.  Sara watched Livi for a bit and instead of relaxing Ben has had a temperature all day.  So the good old Nurofen (strawberry flavour) and Calpol are doing their job FINALLY as he is JUST asleep.

Olivia got out of Bed earlier and fell and hit her eye off her princess bed.  She looks more like Bruised Ella than Cinderella the poor pet.  It looks like Mike Tyson or Katie Taylor popped in for a visit.  She will certainly be POPEYE come the morning.  My mother in law came up to assure me that Olivia was ok.

It’s 9.30PM and I have just eaten.  God whoever knew that us Mums need to eat (in the minds of a 3 and 1 year old I am simply invincible).  Goodness knows they didn’t know how close I was to eating them.  Having just devoured a microwave meal (not my usual I swear, although admittedly whilst at age 30 I am not a Jamie Oliver but can now according to my hubby Simon do a really good scrambled egg) and much needed glass of vino, I retired to my new office to write this piece because my new goal is to write SOMEthing everyday. 

Thanks Aunt Avril for a chat and your usual words of wisdom I need to hear on a regular basis.  Avril is not only my Aunt in law but a true  friend helping me through so much of late.

My bath is just about ran so face mask and bubbles her I come.

 Goodnight !!!! zzzz xxx

Weigh to go

Grace O’Reilly

I have always had issues and insecurities about my weight.  Maybe that’s just me being a typical woman living in a modern World or maybe that’s just me!  All I know is that I have never been happy with the way that I look.  I was bullied in school and I was called fat and had “Grace Downes is a fat cow” written in graffiti on a wall in a housing estate near to where I lived by a “supposed” best friend, NOT!  I have had 2 women very close to me in my life on complete opposite side of the weight scale.  One was obese and has a pair of her old trousers in the attic and can fit her whole self and one in ONE of the legs now.  The other woman was severely anorexic and at her lightest weighed just over 6 stone and that as an adult mother of 2 young boys.  Neither is better than the other to be too thin or overweight is just not healthy.  A lot of the time weight issues stem from physiological and not physical problems.

Last year I was at one of my heaviest EVER (I think 2 years prior to that again I was heavier but don’t actually know the number) at 13 stone 3 lbs.  I am now 9 months on 10 stone 7 lbs.  I still have a way to go until I reach target weight but have lost more than I have to lose and mentally I have gained so much.  In October 2013 I rang Anne Dixon from Unislim in distress.  For my short height of 5”1 I was weighed in 3 days later at my first Unislim class at 13 stone 3 lbs.  I was so disgusted with myself.  I had rang Anne as I was literally on the last leg of being miserable with my weight.  I ripped the whole ass out of a brand new pair of trousers my mother had bought for me and was so ashamed.  I had only got them over the top of my legs when I heard the sound of material ripping and my heart broke too.

It was a blessing though because the new lease of life that Anne, Jan and all the members in Unislim as well as my friends and family have given me is unreal.  I am a changed person for the better.  I have a much more positive mental attitude now.  I am outgoing and bubbly and ENJOY getting dressed up and shopping now (although our bank account doesn't like nor really allow for that) but that being said Penny’s and charity shops are great and having lost so much weight it is a nice feeling to go into a shop and try something on. 

After I had my 2 children I dreaded shopping.  I liked (rather thought I liked) the idea of food shopping and tossing crap like chocolate in the basket to gorge on later.  The truth of it is and was it didn’t make me feel good just worse wear as with clothes shopping I don’t feel bad.

As Anne said last Christmas dressed with a Turkey hat on her head “If you gobble, gobble gobble, you will wobble, wobble, wobble but if you nibble, nibble, nibble, you can jiggle, jiggle, jiggle.  It is true when I dress up now I feel sexy and confident.  My husband Simon always told me I was beautiful and he loved and loves me but I never loved Me and that was the problem.  I can look in the mirror now and not cry.  I can get up in the morning and choose to dress to style with use of my trusty U Magazine or simply be in my pj’s because I am having a lazy day with fun and movies with out 3 and 1 year old rather than because I feel I can’t be bothered getting dressed, going outside the door because God forbid I may scare the kitty cat next door into oblivion at the sight of me. 

Now I dress up and feel good.  I am not vain by any stretch but am just becoming more satisfied and accepting of who I am.  I enjoy getting my hair done and buying new SMALLER clothes.  It  makes me feel good inside and out.  I have more energy, get up and go and drive now too, which apart from for myself and indeed my husband it is great for my two youngsters Olivia and Ben that I can play and keep up with them specially now the little man is on the move.

Yes I know that it is only July but Anne (with good reason) gave us a picture with a Christmas tree.  Every time we lose weight we colour in a bauble but are NOT allowed to touch the star until Christmas week when we can all shine together.  I was only down half a lb this week but that is in my old mind now I am like I was down half and lb GO ME.  If you have ever seen a half lb of meat or indeed fat and think that was lost in ONE week well it is good going.  I hope to be my target weight by Christmas and then not only will my Christmas tree light up but so will myself.

I wrote this one night after a nightmare about bullying years ago.

It’s not quite a poem, not quite a prose.  It’s just my brain on paper or now rather in print.

Started back to writing my bullying novel tonight after weeks of another “break” from it.  Even after Bacardi breezer orange the pain writing it is still there.  It is raw, but I guess that is for me what helps me write.It’s raw like the carrots in my kitchen but at least my words are therapeutic unlike the carrots even if they are tasty.  Okay drifting away from subject compleastly as I do as it hurts but has to be done. 

Below is typed exactly as written

Do people really think twice about the damage they do to others when they bully them “physically”?

Is it a power thing to make them feel more powerful and their prey feel less powerful?

Heart wrenching, stomach churning feelings are all the victim has

That and humiliation, confusion and exclusion.

From the boy in 1^st babies kicking me in the yard and scraping my glasses, to the teacher telling Mum that “I was stupid”, to the bitchy bullies in school seding cards and invites and holiday gifts to practically everybody in the class but me.  WHY???

Then I met a “friend”, popularity set in to our gang but no to me as such – I was just a nobody, an extra in their group.

I got set upon by my “own”.

Nasty notes and pictures sent around, garffitti on walls that I’m a fat cow.

I picked myself up again and made more “friends”

Slowly things happened again

Too much to explain.

A change of school

Exclusion again set in

Then I met my love rat

5 years together and he cheats and befriends my greatest EX-“friend” bully, as she screws his friend’s brother. 

This writing piece is like my brain, all over the place

People, years, events, scattered memories, slightly faded like sun-bleached objects

But definitely still there like a heart sore

Years later, settled, married and a mother

I awake so I write this

Do people even realise the damage and extent of what they have done?

People are like objects in the sense that if something breaks it can be repaired

Take shoes....

The sole can be replaced and repaired time over time but as the damage of time keeps weakening the sole it will eventually just LOOK good and FEEL useless on the inside

Like a person’s heart and sole can only take so much.

Just think in the future – how would you feel if roles or soles were reversed or if the shoes were swapped and the bullies shoes put on other feet!

By Grace O’Reilly

13/01/14

Dark Days

By Grace O’Reilly

Short, dark days and long black nights.

The daytime one third of the 24 hour cycle.

The daylight a constant feel of “half hour before lights are switched on”;

for it’s that grey, bleak darkness.

Too dark to see and enjoy the day;

and too bright for artificial light.

Nightime now and for the next 4 months;

two thirds pitch and almost pitch black darkness.

Our lives plunged into Mr Winter’s life!