Thursday 26 September 2013

Private Number Calling
By Grace O’Reilly

Bronwyn had been with Jerry since they were 19.  She had borne his son and they had been engaged for 9 years.  She had thought they were happy and may finally decide to either get married or try again for a sibling for 6 year old Max.  Oh, how wrong had she been?
It started with a phone call from a private number.  Bronwyn never checked to see his messages and as Jerry’s weird behaviour continued she checked his phone but there were no texts, or added numbers in his phone book.  They used to be intimate twice a week and he had not wanted to be intimate for about 4 months now and was rapidly losing weight, looking tired and had to work late.
“He is definitely having an affair?” she sobbed down the phone to her best friend of 16 years Mairead.  “Look hun, you don’t know that for sure.  Calm down pet.  Why on earth would Jerry want to jeopardise his relationship with you?  You are his World and so is Max.  There is some reasonable explanation I am sure.”
After a good half hour Bronwyn hung up the phone and took her car keys off the hook on the wall in the kitchen.  She had to go and collect Max from school.  It was hard to believe that he was in to his third year at primary school now.  She hopped into the car and parked at her usual spot just around the corner from the school and walked up to the school gate.
“Mummy, Mummy, I made this for you and Daddy”.  She looked at it and smiled.  It was a photo frame made with glazed pasta shells, gloss and cardboard.  “I thought that we could put a photo of the three of us in it Mummy, he added excitably.  “That would be nice love”.  She said this while thinking “Oh God, if there still is a three of us” her eyes welled up.  “Are you crying Mummy?” Max asked.  “No, it’s hayfeaver.  I’ll be alright.  What do you say we go get ice cream”?
They got home and the house phone was ringing and ringing and ringing.  It was a woman, looking for Jerry and said that it was private and that she would try his mobile.  “Who was she?  What did she want with her Jerry?  How did she have the house number and mobile number?” she asked herself mentally.  Then another voice in her head said “If she is his mistress why would she be calling on the house phone?”
Jerry came in the front door at 6.45, singing to himself “It’s a beautiful daaaaay”.  In his hands he held a bottle of wine (Bronwyn’s favourite), bunch of flowers, a toy truck for Max and had a great big  smile on his face.  “Oh he looks like the cat that got the cream”, she thought.  She started to sob.  “What is it pet?” he asked panicking.  “I know there is someone else.  She, she rrrang earlier and....”.  Jerry interrupted.  “Look, we have to talk.  You have this all wrong.”

Jerry had found a lump on his testicle and had gone to the GP who had then referred him to the hospital for tests which came back abnormal.  He had lost weight with worry and also lack of sleep.  He hadn’t wanted to worry Bronwyn.  He had to wait and do another set of tests and wait again for results.  The waiting had really played on him.  The lady on the phone earlier had been the hospital receptionist, who had been asked not to ring the house and had forgotten.  She couldn’t say anything to Bronwyn because of patient confidentiality.
The news was good though.  He had been run down with work deadlines and meetings and that is why the tests were abnormal, the second set was perfect and that is what the receptionist had rang to say earlier.   
“This had made me think, lets try right now for baby two and start to arrange our wedding.  Life is too short baby”.
A bottle of wine later, followed by copious amounts of lovemaking, cuddles and kisses they fell asleep, happy in each other’s arms and dreaming of visions of what Max’s sibling would look like when they struck lucky second time around. 
Bronwyn was right she couldn’t have been more wrong.  Her partner and son were perfect and she was a very lucky woman.

THE END




Monday 16 September 2013

September 16th 2013 – Ben is 2 Months Today
By Grace O’Reilly

Today my husband left for work after a quick cup of coffee leaving me with our two monkeys, 2 and a half year old Olivia, and our 8 week old son Benjamin.  Despite poor Ben suffering nappy rash and oral thrush and I suspect the starts of teething he continuously smiled and squealed at me and his big sister.  Olivia, slept late after being at the “Care Doc”, last night, diagnosis sore throat virus, was in good humour today and was a Mother Hen to her little brother.

We had a nice day, just chilling.  Livi managed to eat some toast and Ben is just a baby boy doll.  Love the two of them so much.  Livi watched “Peppa Pig” on DVD  (and allowed Ben to watch it too).  The two of them love each other so much as well, cooing at one another.  Livi says to me “Mummy, Ben a smile at me”, or when I change his nappy runs to me with the wipes or a nappy.  She will ask “I put his doddy in his mouth Mummy?”, or says matter of fact to me “I feed him, I do it”.  It makes my heart glow so much.

We went for a stroll down toward the Town in Gorey, Wexford to do some errands.  What a windy day it was?  Went to Aldi for extra pegs and they have any.  I lost the amount of times I had to re-hang the washing back onto the clothes line today with Billy Wind’s never ending tantrum, hurling our clean washing through the air.  Believe you me, there was an awful load (excuse the wording) of it with now having a toddler and a new born as well as my hubby and myself in the house, just built up so fast.  What a week, just didn’t get a chance with lots of things going on and so spend the evening sorting out 4 baskets of washing into separate piles, neat for my hubby to put away tomorrow.
It has gone real grey and dark and I am sorry to say I think our Summer has disappeared.  After a very basic dinner of chicken nuggets and potato waffles, Livi and I made Daddy a cheesecake as it was his Birthday the other day and he was working for it.  It is a mint choc chip and Malteaser cheesecake with a digestive and choc chip cookie biscuit base.  I licked the mix with Livi and it was Hevaen.  Heaven is now set in the fridge and I just want to get a fork and eat the entire heart shaped red dish of deliciousness within, but have the tinchiest bit of control so will just about wait unil tomorrow to dog in.

After making the cheesecake, the kiddies were bathed and put to bed and now I type and watch “Fair City” on RTE Player.  I had a week’s worth of it to catch up on.  It’s all happening in the soap at the moment.  Damien is a dirty dog, and Yvonne Doyle she always seems to find a way to be in the middle of people’s pain and suffering and add to it dramatically.  Not to mention all the Dillon mess, and a feuding Bishop clan.

I am tired after a nice weekend.  Saturday, some of our friends played “Atmosphere” (an extremely old video board game) followed by  “Cards Against Humainty” and had a few drinks.  My head and belly ached yesterday from the laughter (and some drink) that was had.  Havn’t relaxed that much for ages.
Going to head up and run a bubbly bath and light a candle while Ben snores and Livi (now finally asleep after having to take some toys from her bedroom to get her to sleep) sleeps.

Can’t believe Ben is 2 months today.  This time two months ago (or 8 weeks tomorrow) I was only 5 hours and a couple of minutes after my emergency section with our second beautiful baby.  He was 7lb 1oz and now I’d say heading for twice the size.  Healthy and happy like Olivia and that is all that matters. 
Tomorrow he gets his 2month injections (poor pet) and yesterday was 2 weeks until Mr’s BIG day, his Christening Day.  Still have to get his outfit, my outfit (as I typed outfit, Olivia called me and it was 22.40) and her shoes. As I said she just called me and we read Stick Man (great book), had cuddles, rang Daddy who is literally just finishing up who told her to go to bed and we got a hot milk.  Here’s hoping I get to have that bubbly bath. J
Happy two months Ben!
Good Night!!!! zzz


THE END

Sunday 8 September 2013

So Near but yet so Far
By Grace O’Reilly

My belly feels like a hot air balloon
Full of gas, baby and fluid
Breathless from the continuously growing heavy life forming within
36 weeks yet feels like 36 years

So near but yet so far

Thursday 5 September 2013

Ben
By Grace O’Reilly

A teenchy  little baby.
His head as furry as a peach,
With dainty little hands
And dainty little feet.
A set of piano fingers.
A set of footballer toes.
A set of tiny ears listens when we talk or sing.
Dressed in blue our Benjamin,
Our tiny baby King.
Suckling on his bottles,
His baby royal feast,
Lots of milk, here and there
to feed our royal beast.
He is always hungry
And wakes up in the night
I wish I had a glass of white
Yet he gets his bottle of white!
Your older sister adores you
And so do Mum and Dad
Your sister and you are so precious
The best things we ever had.

Love you both forever,

Mummy and Daddy xx

Wednesday 4 September 2013

A Robot called Mummy
By Grace O’Reilly

I feel like a robot
Rapidly running out of batteries
Always on the go
Robots don’t eat
And robots don’t sleep
Robots don’t get rests or break
Do this
Do that
Going through the motions
Yet Mummy unlike the robot is also going through the emotions
Love, for her children and husband
Desire to be sleeping or immune from exhaustion
Despair at not getting any
Any sleep or food
Despite this grateful for my babies,

Even if shall never eat or sleep again

Monday 2 September 2013

Bake Away
By Grace O’Reilly

I was sitting with my husband Simon on Friday night and was as giddy as a small child.  The reason for this was not only that I hadn’t seen my hubby dearest for a whole 25 hours, thanks to his new night shift hours he has been assigned to now.  Oh no, it was also because in front of me was a hot and steaming cup of warm milk and 3 BB muffins. There was a chocolate toffee one and two regular toffee ones and by golly there were the most scrumptious thing on the planet, my Simkin Baba Boo a close second.  You see, no matter how much I bitch, especially around that menstrual time of the month, the muffin always cheers me up by smiling at me with twinkling eyes and saying “Eat me baby”, not with rolled up to the Holy God eyes that tell “Oh no, this is only day one of five grumpy days.
The fact that we now live in the beautiful country town of Ireland’s County Wexford means that we no longer have the luxury of being situated near a BB Coffee House.  As they say there is always a reason on their box.  “Because it’s my birthday, Because it’s your Birthday, Because it’s Friday, Because it’s Monday, Because I’m happy, Because I’m sad, Because I passed, Because I failed”.  The list goes on and on.  It should just say “Because BB muffins rule the bakin’ world, I’ve have got my period and am in pain and not fitting this week into my skinny jeans anyway, and oh yeah I WANT ONE”!!!
BB Muffins are located in Carrigmines, Dun Laoghaire and Dundrum Town Centre, all in Ireland’s county Dublin.  I have a sweet tooth and love all cakes and sweet but these are not just any muffins.  You have to have one to understand.  They are big and moist and come in different varieties and there are the regular muffin types or the cupcake like muffins with the icing.  “Oh God” I am dreaming of the mint one right now.  It must release a generous amount of serotonin because unlike eating other sweet foods, I am continually happy for the rest of the day.  Apart from my husband running off with Mrs BB or somebody else or someone I love dying NOTHING could make me sad”.  I am Princess Happy Muffin Top for the end of the day which is funny because if I lived beside a BB Coffee House I would probably end up with a permanent muffin top, not just my menstruating one.
Our friend Nick lives in Ballybrack in County Dublin and we used to live in Bray County Wicklow and just go for a spin in his car to Dundrum Town Centre JUST purely for a cuppa or a latte and a (Grace close your mouth, you are getting drool on the keyboard) em sorry a gorgeous BB Muffin.  Now since we moved Nick comes and stays with us usually every second weekend for a night or two and his entrance fee to our new home is a nice shiny BB Muffin box with yummy, yummy muffins inside.  Once you hear the engine zoom into our driveway, I run into the kitchen, stop writing, cleaning, playing with my daughter Olivia and start the kettle a boiling because Hurray BB Muffins and oh yeah Nick are here to stay.  Well Nick is.  Unfortunately the BB Muffins will only have a short stay until they make their permanent way to my tummy and even after digestion has ceased there is a teeny bit of BB Muffin that will remain there and be squeezed into my skinny jean, unless I start up Curves Membership.  Well celebs like Beyonce and are known for their curvaceous figures and encouraging less eating disorders like anorexia promoting “All sizes are beautiful images”.  Although come to think of it, it probably causes high cholesterol and weight gain.  Think bootilicious must have to be beautilious and BB Muffins do help with that right?  And besides my husband once said to me before we wed and while I was rapidly piling on the baby and BB Muffin pounds (See “Because I am pregnant” another reason for one and Olivia does love them too) that “he would love me if I was 2 stone or 22 stone and if I was a giant ogre like Princess Fiona in Shrek who is beautiful, or if I was so teenchy like Little Miss Pepperpot that her would carry me around in his pocket”.  It was very funny, yet also very sweet and feeling like Miss Piggy and being hormonal I appreciated his kind words.  Ironically thinking about it as I type we had Miss Piggy in a wedding dress pulling back a petrified Kermit in a suit as cake toppers on or wedding cake. 
Anyway getting back to the other night!!! Our friend Nick who is like our brother he is so good (especially when he bears us with BB Muffins) took a spin to Dundrum Town Centre on Thursday when Simon was sleeping in his between two shifts and bought the three muffins.  He rang to see how I was on the house phone on Thursday night to say he had gotten us a presie when in Dundrum to see if my latest writing piece was out.  So drooling like a dog I knew.  So when Simon came home I pounced a wet one on his lips and waited 10 whole minutes for him to tell me the good news.  I even had the kettled boiled twice at this stage and then my patience wore out.  “Where are the BB Muffins? Nick rang and said that he got us some.”  Looking in his back, and looking and looking he broke the heartbreaking news.  “I left them in the office, but I’ll have them tomorrow”.  He looked sheepish as he spoke.
An extremely angry Grace let fly.  “What do you mean you forgot them?  I am just DYING for one.  There is nothing in the house that is remotely like a BB Muffin and I am going to cry”, I spat at him.  “I’m sorry Gracie, I’ll have them for you tomorrow”.  About an hour of bitching and moaning at him later I let it go.
The following night Simon came into the sitting room and I was occupied with The Late Late Show and giggling away to one of Joseph O’Connor’s latest poems about two teens having a conversation on the luas, I had actually forgotten about the BB Muffins.   It was now after 11 and I knew I would be up early in the morning with our little monkey monster Olivia Simon offered to make me a cup of hot milk and it brings us back to where we started.  Afterall I was only a week after surgery.  I had my appendix removed and needed to be pampered.  I also debated with Simon as to whether I could eat more BB Muffins now that my appendix was removed surely there was more room for an extra muffin (or two).  Haha wishful thinking!
One bite in and I was in muffin heaven.  “Sorry did you say something pet? “ I asked Si.  After the last bite of BB chocolate toffee muffin was devoured, I came up with an awesome idea.  What if somebody made a 24 hour bake away company for people who love muffins.  Think about it you can get take away at all hours why not bake away.  Many people work during the night, and then there are the people who are awake with their newborn babies and feeding them and sure they may as well have a muffin and a latte to keep them awake and going, take the bitter lack of sleep with a tasty sweet mouthful of muffin and coffee.  They could do a lemon one and name it bittersweet in honour of those who are sleep deprived but don’t have to be muffin deprived too. 
Ok now target clientele could be anyone really with a sweet tooth but for those men and women doing night shifts as a security officer, Garda, nurse, carer etc.  How about as I said for mothers or fathers (Si was great with Olivia) doing the nightly feeds with newborns.  What about pregnant woman who have “cravings we swear” for a muffin at 3am.  Yes I’m sure the other half would gladly walk or drive to a bake away but it doesn’t exist.  There is always a reason for a muffin says BB’s but someone give them a rival, preferably in the Gorey area or ask BB’s to move to Gorey too.
As Simon and I are hoping to try for a sibling for Olivia soon and don’t drive I think that a BB Muffin or equally good and newly invented muffin chain would be a good idea.  Hell if we could only get the winnings from the Irish National Lotto or the Euromillions we could invent the O’Reilly Mega Muffin Chain but alas lack of funds prevent us from doing this and besides I don’t actually WANT to bake them just you know EAT them.  The chain could even invent a special muffin for mum’s to be called “Bun in Tum”.  I don’t think that any gym chains will be happy as this is an opposite to their motto for losing weight and toning up of “Bums and Tums”.  Although eating does work out your jaw muscles!!!
I have heard that lemons apparently according to a google site say that if the father eats lots of lemons and lemon products in increases a chance of a boy and since we have a girl lemons could be a winner although personally I wouldn’t mind another princess.  Also I have heard that chaste berries were used by the monks to reduce their sex drive and fertility.  However the opposite is said to work on women and it was shown in a U.S study some years back that women who had low fertility rates of only 10% had their fertility rate over doubled to 21% after only a few weeks of eating chaste berries.  They are usually is season in the Autumn time.

So that is where my inspiration for this piece came from the other night.  FINALLY, eating my muffin from BB’s.  YUMMY!!!!!

THE END
A piece about ‘The Skunk’ written by Seamus Heaney
By Grace O’Reilly

This is one of my top five favourite poems.  I studied it in secondary school, for my Leaving Certificate Examinations.  It is such a cleverly written poem and makes me laugh each time I read it.  The way in which Heaney can compare his wife, whom he loves, to a Skunk, which can be a smelly and wild animal is brilliant.  Not only is it clever and humorous, it’s also extremely sensual, and in some places very unusual.
It is important to note that he is writing from a memory point of view.  He was obviously away from his wife Marie in California, and was missing her emotionally and physically.  His feelings were running wild like the skunk (and a horse) which he refers to later.  The poem was written in 1939. 
If somebody in general compares you to a skunk you would be insulted.  However, the way in which Heaney does this is not only clever and funny, it is complementing and sweet.  He missed his wife that much and so he put so much thought into what he was writing.  It came from the heart and was open and honest.
You could just say that he was being mean and insulting to his wife and was clever in how he wrote it so that it wouldn’t be portrayed in bad light, but I believe that it was what I first said complementing, funny and unusual.  If I was Heaney’s wife, I would be flattered to have a poem written about me and not your typical romantic poem but one with a very different and unique way of thinking.
There are two animal references, the skunk of course and a horse with the word ‘winnied’.  There are two images of trees and three images of clothes.  It is a highly descriptive and visual poem as well as highly descriptive in the other senses of taste, touch, sound and smell.
The visual use of scenery is well written throughout the poem.  For examples;
‘...beyond the verandah.’ and ‘...in the orange tree.’
Below are examples of taste.
‘Tang of eucalyptus.....’, ‘the aftermath of a mouthful of wine’
The emotional feeling of how lonely he was for his wife is seen in the lines below
‘Was like inhaling you off a cold pillow.’
The sound of the fridge is amusing like the fridge is alive and going to gallop away like a horse.  This line is also unusual.
‘The refrigerator whinnied into silence.’

Some of the descriptions are unusual and metaphoric.  The way he can think of religion and sex together is one example.  The opening two lines.
‘Up, black, striped and damasked like a chasuble... the skunk’s tail’
The other example.
‘And there she was, the intent and glamorous,
Ordinary, mysterious skunk,
Mythologized, demythologized’
The last two lines are the best for comparison of Heaney’s wife and the skunk. 
‘Your head-down, tail up hunt in a bottom drawer
For the black plunge-line nightdress.’
At this final point in the poem, he is writing from the ‘now’ point and not a memory.
The rhythm of the poem has a natural flow.  Also the lack of rhyming helps keep the poem natural and the conversational words that pop up maintain a causal air.
The tone varies from wonderment to sensual, to humorous to delicate to playful and so on.  There is an element of assortments.
I have read this poem countless times and it still makes me smile and giggle to myself how a person can compare his wife to a skunk in such a funny, flattering and erotic way.  That is the beauty of the poem and in Heaney’s eyes the beauty of his wife and the skunk.


THE END